I SHOULDN'T POST THIS, BUT...

DID I MENTION I TEACH AT UP TO 20 SCHOOLS IN JAPAN? 12 OF THESE ARE ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS. INTERESTING THING ABOUT TEACHING ENGLISH AT ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS IS THAT NOBODY THERE CAN SPEAK IT BESIDES ME. FORTUNATELY, I AM ALSO FLUENT IN "ENGRISH", SO THERE'S NO PROBLEM WHEN I RECEIVE A LESSON PLAN BY FAX SUCH AS THIS ONE...

Children look forward to studying the English with Mr. James very much. I introduce myself and I become slightly close and think that I am happy and should have been able to learn it while singing an English song.

DID YOU NOTICE THERE WASN'T A SINGLE SPELLING MISTAKE?

MAKIN' BABIES

THE FULL MOON IS HERE, AND THAT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR THE RARE SEA TURTLE TO CLIMB OUT OF THE OCEAN TO DUMP ITS BABIES IN A PIT ONSHORE. THE EGG LAYING PROCESS IS AN INCREDIBLY ARDUOUS AND VULNERABLE TIME FOR THIS LUMBERING MAIDEN OF THE OCEAN, MAKING IT A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY TO HARASS HER UP CLOSE WITH FLASHES OF CAMERAS AND POKES WITH STICKS. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS CREATURE HERE WAS THE ONLY ONE I COULD FIND AT THE BEACH THAT NIGHT. SHE ALSO REFUSED TO GIVE BIRTH TO ANYTHING IN FRONT OF ME. MAYBE NEXT MONTH.

CUZ A "REAL" POST IS TOO MUCH WORK

SO I MEET THIS GOAT ON MY WAY TO SCHOOL, RIGHT? AN HE'S ALL, "YO, MY MAN! CAN YOU SPARE TWO DOLLARS?" AND I'M LIKE, "SORRY BRO, I DON'T HAVE ANY TO SPARE." BUT HE'S ALL LIKE, "C'MON, SON! I NEED IT TO GET HOME ON THE LAST BUS. HELP A BRUTHA OUT!" AND THEN I'M LIKE, " YO! YO! WAIT A MINUTE! ...THIS CRAZY ASS GOAT IS TALKING TO ME!!! HOW'D HE LEARN ENGLISH OUT HERE IN THE BOONIES OF JAPAN?!?"