JAPAN DAY 6 (PT.2): JAPAN VS. IRELAND

I’M VERY EXCITED. TODAY IS TO BE MY FIRST HANAMI. WHAT IS THIS HANAMI I SPEAK OF? WELL, JAPAN IS FAMOUS FOR THE BEAUTIFUL BUT SHORT LIVED WHITE AND PINKS BLOSSOMS OF THEIR SAKURA (CHERRY) TREES IN EARLY SPRING. THE THING TO DO IS TO GATHER A BUNCH OF FRIENDS AND SPEND THE DAY EATING AND DRINKING ON A BLUE TARP BENEATH THE FALLING FLOWER PETALS AS THEY DRIFT LIKE SNOWFLAKES IN THE GENTLE BREEZE. THAT’S HANAMI.



NOT UNLIKE SAINT PATRICK’S DAY, HANAMI-TIME IS TOUTED AS AN IMPORTANT CULTURAL EXPERIENCE PROMOTING REFLECTION ON THE VALUE OF FRIENDS, FAMILY, COUNTRY, AND THE BEAUTY OF LIFE.

AND AS WITH SAINT PATRICK’S DAY, THE REALITY IS THAT IT’S TREATED AS LITTLE MORE THAN AN EXCUSE TO SPEND THE DAY GETTING BLITHERINGLY TRASHED OUT IN PUBLIC.



HOWEVER, DESPITE THEIR SIMILARITIES, THERE ARE A FEW KEY DIFFERENCES THAT SET HANAMI SEASON APART FROM THE DAY OF PATRICK THE SAINT...

1) HANAMI SEASON CAN LAST A WEEK OR TWO, INSTEAD OF ONE DAY
WINNER: HANAMI

2) CROWDS CONGEST IN THE PARKS, NOT IN THE CITY STREETS
WINNER: DRAW?

3) GIRLS DON’T SAY, “KISS ME, I’M JAPANESE!”
WINNER: ST. PAT’S

4) NOBODY SINGS SONGS ABOUT BEING PILLAGED, RAPED, AND MURDERED BY THOSE BLOODY BRITISH BASTARDS!
WINNER: HANAMI

5) YOU HAVE A GOOD CHANCE OF MAKING IT THRU THE DAY WITHOUT ANYONE SMASHING A BEER BOTTLE OR A BAR STOOL ACROSS YOUR FACE
WINNER: HANAMI

6) DUDES DON’T PRANCE AROUND IN PLAID SKIRTS
WINNER: HANAMI

IT SEEMS THAT HANAMI CELEBRATIONS BEAT OUT EL DIA DE SANTO PATRICK... BUT I’M IRISH, AND THE IRISH PLAY DIRTY, SO I DECLARE SAINT PATTY-CAKES DAY AS BETTER THAN ANY OTHER COUNTRY’S HOLIDAY IN THE WORLD (YES, THAT INCLUDES BOXING DAY IN CANADA). IN THE WORDS OF OUR REVERED PATRON SAINT, “POG MO THOIN, MUTHA TRUCKERS!”



TODAY I LIKE: EATING TOO MUCH PICNIC FOOD
TODAY I DISLIKE: BARBEQUED NATTO