ESCAPE FROM SNAKE ISLAND - PART 1

ON OCCASION I TRY TO MAKE IT TO THE MAINLAND TO ENJOY WHAT THE RURAL LIFE ON MY ISLAND CAN'T PROVIDE. THINGS LIKE BUILDINGS WITH MORE THAN THREE FLOORS, HIGHWAYS WITH MORE THAN ONE LANE (BY WHICH OF COURSE I MEAN ONE LANE SHARED BY BOTH DIRECTIONS), AND PERHAPS MOST IMPORTANTLY... AFFORDABLE LETTUCE.

HERE'S A ROMANTIC MOMENT BETWEEN TWO FRIENDS AT A MARRIAGE RENT-A-ROOM ON THE SECOND FLOOR OF AN OUTDOOR MALL.



I TOLD MY PAL XINGLING THIS SIGN BELOW WAS MY BELOVED ISLAND. A CLOSE LOOK REVEALS THAT THIS PARTICULAR ISLAND HAS ABOUT 3 HOMES ON IT, AND A SMALL BICYCLE. SEE, IT'S FUNNY CUZ MY PLACE HAS ABOUT 8 OR 9 HOMES, AND AT LEAST 2 SCOOTERS. CLEVER, RIGHT? ...Hmmm, GUESS YOU HAD TO BE THERE.


STAYING ON THE MAINLAND IS A NICE VACATION FOR MY BRAIN, TOO. I GET TO SPEAK AS LITTLE JAPANESE AS POSSIBLE, SINCE XING'S JAPANESE IS JUST AS GOOD AS (IF NOT BETTER) THAN MINE (THOUGH I WON'T ADMIT THAT TO THAT... uhhh, EVEN THOUGH I JUST DID).

IT'S ESPECIALLY FUN TO LET HER DO ALL THE TALKING WITH THE LOCALS SINCE (BY THE JUDGEMENT OF SOME) SHE SOMEWHAT RESEMBLES THEM (OR TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY, SHE'S MORE LIKELY TO BE MISTAKEN AS JAPANESE THAN I AM... PERHAPS). THE PUZZLED LOOKS ON STORE CLERK FACES WHEN THEY HEAR HER ACCENT ARE PHOTO-WORTHY. FOR PERSPECTIVE, TRY PICTURING A MAN WITH A 10-GALLON COWBOY HAT AND HANDLEBAR MOUSTACHE ASKING YOU FOR DIRECTIONS WITH THE ACCENT OF A MILD-MANNERED BRITISH GENTLEMAN.


THESE OUTDOOR HEATERS ARE QUITE NICE IN THE WINTER TIME, IF YOU DON'T MIND STANDING NO FURTHER THAN A FOOT AWAY WITH YOUR ARMS RAISED THE ENTIRE TIME. WHAT THEY LACK IN ENERGY EFFICIENCY, THEY MORE THAN MAKE UP FOR WITH... SOMETHING ELSE... I'M ASSUMING.