JAPAN DAY 4 (PT.1): BABYSITTING A FOREIGNER

SEEING AS HOW I LOST ALMOST 10 POUNDS FROM THE RIGORS OF JAPANESE SIGHTSEEING THREE YEARS EARLIER - THIS TIME AROUND I FELT QUITE CONTENT TO SIMPLY HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS AND PUT THOSE POUNDS BACK ON. MY FRIENDS HERE ARE MUCH TOO KIND TO LET ME WALLOW IN COMFORT, THOUGH - SO TODAY WE WERE OFF TO HIKE THE MOUNTAINOUS, SHRINE-LITTERED TRAILS OF KAMAKURA. I'VE HEARD IT REFERRED TO AS "THE POOR MAN'S KYOTO" (MUCH LIKE HOW PORTLAND MAINE IS "THE POOR MAN'S SAN FRAN", OR BAGHDAD IS "THE POOR MAN'S DETROIT").



MY FRIEND MAIKO WAS TO BE MY GUIDE (CULTURAL NOTE: THE WORD "MAIKO" MEANS "DANCING GIRL" IN JAPANESE, AND MY FRIEND MAIKO IS ACTUALLY A TRAINED DANCER. ISN'T THAT SWELL?). SHE BROUGHT ALONG HER FRIEND KEIKO. LIKE MAIKO, KEIKO IS ALSO FLUENT AT ENGLISH... OR AT LEAST I THINK SHE IS. SHE MUCH PREFERRED SPEAKING TO ME IN JAPANESE - THE REALLY QUICK PACED, COLLOQUIAL, SLANG INFUSED STYLE OF JAPANESE THAT FOREIGNERS LIKE MYSELF SHOULD OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING (HAHAHA, DID YOU PICK UP ON THE SARCASM THERE, KIDS? MUCH TO HER APPARENT DELIGHT, I UNDERSTOOD NOT A WORD THAT SHE SPOKE TO ME IN THAT DEVIL TONGUE OF THEIRS).



CONSIDERING HOW POPULAR KAMAKURA IS WITH VISITORS (PARTICULARLY ON SPRING WEEKENDS SUCH AS THIS), WE WERE FORTUNATE TO HAVE PRACTICALLY ALL THE GARDENS, SHRINES, WOODED TRAILS, AND TACKY SOUVENIR SHOPS TO OURSELVES. NICE.

I WAS TAKING MY SWEET TIME LOOKING FOR PHOTO OP's ON OUR WALK, FALLING BEHIND THE LADIES FROM TIME TO TIME - AND I CAUGHT AN EARFUL ABOUT MY LEISURELY PACE AS A RESULT. THUS WAS I GIVEN THE FIRST OF THREE NAMES KEIKO WOULD BESTOW UPON ME THIS DAY...

NAME #1: "JIMU OJICHAN" (GRANDPA JIM)

THE CONVERSATIONS WITH MY GLEEFUL TORMENTOR THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON WERE AS FOLLOWS...

KEIKO: JIMU OJICHAN, DAIJOUBU? (ARE YOU OK, GRANDPA JIM?)
ME: HAI, DAIJOUBU DESU. OKAGESAMA DE (YES, I'M FINE. THANKS FOR ASKING)

<5 MINUTES PASS>

KEIKO: OJICHAN, DAIJOUBU? (YOU OK, GRANDPA?)
ME: DAIJOUBU YO. (I'M FINE)

<5 MINUTES PASS>

KEIKO: DAIJOUBU...? (YOU OK?)
ME: URUSAI YO! (...SHADDUP!)



TODAY I LIKE: KAMAKURA
TODAY I DISLIKE: (TAKE A GUESS)